Stuck Between Struggles

Why is it that my struggles keep piling on? Why have I found comfort in the feeling of struggling? Aren’t we too young to struggle?

All these questions swirl around in the mind of a teenager, who hasn’t even reached a quarter of their life… Doesn’t this make us question society? I feel like I’m holding up the weight of the world, even though I am aware my struggles can be solved. I am aware that Allah will always be by my side, holding my hand through it all. Pushing me to do my best. Yet, why does that not pause my thoughts? They keep twirling in between my insides, causing my stomach to flip, causing my brain to ache and my heart to break.

I need a person to speak to, to comfort me, to reaffirm my feelings, not tell me it’s alright this is only a stage in your life that will soon dissipate. I find that, even when I am comfortable with my life, my subconscious finds something to worry about. A thought that is highlighted and held hostage by my brain in order to torture me. Why has my mind turned into this? Why does every single person tell me make the most of your teenage years, you will miss them?

I will never miss these struggles, this overthinking, the jump between friendships I haven’t let go. I don’t even have time to process the end of my relationships! Let alone, move on from them. Trust me, I know I am not the only person feeling like this but society makes us bury these struggles, making us feel that, if we don’t learn how to deal with these issues, we never will. Nevertheless, the people that force us to ‘deal with our problems’ are the same ones we inherited burying our feelings from. They have no clue how to deal with their traumas… Is it time to break these generational struggles? Or must we confront the source of these struggles, the incorrect way of hiding them?

I am privileged. I am very privileged. I thank Allah for that. I have a family who encourages me to sound out my emotions, a home that is loving and friends that can relate to me - even when they force themselves to understand me. However, my pride gets in the way of processing emotions. The fact that I - as well as many other teenagers - hold myself to an extremely high standard is both my success and my downfall; it helps me achieve so much and holds me back from so much. Here it’s my fault, it’s my turn to be independent but everything hit me so fast I have no idea how to live my remaining childhood, study, balance between self-care and school, take care of my family, commit to my responsibilities and process my emotions. So, in turn, many teenagers switch it off… They become careless, they rebel, they shut off socially, they pretend to be alright. And, my personal favourite: they fake it until they make it.

Ironic isn’t it? In a world where we are encouraged to be authentic, transparent and genuine, we are also taught - sometimes even forced - to fake it, hide it, bury it. What an interesting thought to ponder on.

On the other hand, because struggling has become an extremely familiar emotion, we find comfort in the melancholy atmosphere. We listen to music that makes us cry, we read books that are sad which glues us to our negative thoughts even more. So, is it really difficult to find happiness since we are constantly pushed into a sad environment, even by ourselves and our interests? Of course it isn’t difficult, at least not for all of us. I find joy in the little things, on the daily. Although, when I let my guard down in the slightest and my mind takes control, one overthinking scenario ruins my entire day.

Through the years, I have learned how to control this and that it is rooted in being overwhelmed. Usually, teenagers are overwhelmed as a result of procrastinating, I’ve found that making lists of what I need to do including taking time for myself is extremely important for my health. Some of my peers can’t even do that, they need guidance. I need any teenagers reading this to know that they really aren’t alone and that this is our time to navigate both the world and ourselves. Adults, parents, mentors please help the children around you, teach them to be independent when it comes to their thoughts, give them a comfort space to speak and teach them about balancing the many aspects of their lives; learn to beat your own traumas with them. Show them that you are proud of them, you love them, that they have taught you a lot! Lead them to a better way of living and you will, as a result, lead yourself to a better way of living…

So, I will ask again. Why are your struggles piling on? Why have you found comfort in the feeling of struggling? And, last but not least, are we too young to struggle? The first two are personal to every individual but the last one, no. There’s only one answer. No one is too young to struggle… Struggling teaches us to mature; for human evolution we must mature whether we like it or not. I suggest we learn to like it.